Pole Dancer Name Wanted – Suggestions Welcome!

I had dinner with a good friend this week. As he does, he asked me how the writing was going. I told him about my sales, the promo I’m doing this weekend, the series I’m working on, my YA dystopian, my decision to published the Juniper Grace series I’ve been working on since college… Oh… and about all the crazy stalkers I’ve attracted on Facebook. So many guys that just want to make a girl suit out of me. So many of them!!!

He’s friends with me on Facebook. He’s noticed that I have some… devoted… fans. Do I find it as disturbing as he does when I have men wanting to know what color panties I wear? Yes – possibly more. He’s not sure about that. Then there was something about me writing erotica being the equivalent to blood in the water for the sharks. The question then is, what am I doing about this? I unfriend these people immediately after taking a picture of their wall and jotting down whatever information I can about them.

He suggested we should come up with a safe word (I’m to ask him about our friend Johnny if he ever calls and I have a lunatic in my home) and perhaps invest in some pepper spray and a large dog. He made a good point last night. I probably shouldn’t be publishing erotica under my name. I need a stage name. Something I can use if the writing doesn’t work out and I really do need to turn to exotic dancing to make a living. I do not mention that I did try pole dancing (thank you Dr. Lulu for talking me into that hour I’ll never get back) and I failed. I nearly concussed myself. As it turns out, pole dancing is not nearly as easy as it looks and the spinning upside down part is only for the initiated and very limber.

It’s not that he’s uptight or has a problem with what I’ve been spending the bulk of my time writing lately, it’s that it might be bad for me professionally and for the living and breathing part of me. I like being alive. I also spend my time in a very conservative place. I don’t think the people associate with directly would have an issue with what I write, but the institution as a whole might. The chances that anyone would put together that I’m that Livia Ellis and this Livia Ellis are probably so far from probable that it will happen.

But that’s not my only reason for wanting a pen name for my erotica. When else in my life am I going to have an opportunity to invent a name for myself out of whole cloth? I have no plans to take up pole dancing or become a drag queen so I will never require a crazy stage name. This is my chance. This is the moment I can unabashedly call myself Crystall de la Faal.

Some of my personal favorites which have already been suggested to me today:
Miss Spelling
Miss Understood
Anita Cocktail
Helen Heels
Anita Mann
Luce Change
Amanda Taunt

PLEASE send me any suggestions you might have. At the moment I’m loving Anita Mann.

50 Shades of Marketing 101

What I know about marketing comes from watching Mad Men. I asked my BFF, The Marketing Maven, if there was something more to what she got a masters degree in, than tossing back the scotch, wearing fabulous vintage couture, and groping asses. Surprisingly, there is a lot more too it than chain smoking and having identity crises’. I asked The Marketing Maven five basic questions about marketing. Here’s what she had to say:

  • Livia the Clueless Writer:Who are you and why are you sitting in my living room dressed in a cowl and cape, drinking my booze?
  • The Marketing Maven:I am The Marketing Maven! Able to dazzle Madison Avenue in one clever catchphrase!
  • Livia the Clueless Writer:Seriously?
  • The Marketing Maven: Well, actually I’ve spent years branding commercial products and have a masters degree in marketing.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: What’s the deal with the cowl and the cape?
  • The Marketing Maven: Branding.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: Cool. So… Five questions about marketing in exchange for my booze?
  • The Marketing Maven: Shoot.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: What’s the difference between marketing, advertizing and publicity?
  • The marketing Maven: Marketing is the strategy behind the advertising and publicity. The strategy is about how you want your product perceived and placed in the market- price, product itself, placement (where is it available for sale). Advertising is about how you show the consumer your strategy – who are you trying to reach, what do you want them to know and think about your product, price, etc. publicity or pr is about getting opinion leaders or celebrities to endorse, use or discuss your product. Marketing is the coordinating and overarching piece of it. What you are doing with reviews and interviews is a cross between publicity and advertising.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: Do I need all three to sell a book?
  • The Marketing Maven: Yes. The key to selling anything is to have the end consumer familiar with your product. If they have never heard of you, they can’t buy your product. You need to know how to place your product, get people familiar with it and then get people to recommend it to their circle. To do that you need all 3 aspects working together.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: Does advertising work?
  • The marketing Maven: Yes, advertising builds awareness and familiarity with your product. It gets your name known. It gets the trendsetters aware and possibly trying this something new. That is why we see advertising everywhere. Unfortunately my experience is not iBook marketing, so I’m not sure about the effectiveness in this industry. But generally, as you build awareness you build sales.
  • The marketing Maven: What we haven’t talked about is your strategy.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: Uhhh…. Strategy? You mean like… What actually do you mean?
  • The Marketing Maven: Your strategy is all about who you want to reach and how you want to be perceived.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: I’m guessing I need a strategy?
  • The marketing Maven: I’m going to go with… YES!
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: If I have a strategy can I turn Memoirs of a Gigolo into the next 50 Shades of Gray.
  • The Marketing Maven: 50 Shades of Grey is honestly a freak. It is extremely rare for a new entry in a category to take off like that. I think it had a number of things working in its favor. One, it had a core buyer built in, by starting as Twilight fan fiction. Two, it started as an ebook,so people could read it anymously as a guilty pleasure. Three, it spread by word of mouth. It allowed traditional romance readers to delve into erotica, while still in a traditional romance format. It became all about the recommendations. Fourth, it profited from its own success. Once it became an in the know”” item, and was selling well, the publicity ran itself. It was picked up in the news, then came the paperback and the truly monster sales. Over all the quality of the writing didn’t matter. It was all about being in on the secret and enjoying a guilty pleasure.
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: Will you answer some questions from other clueless writers?
  • The Marketing Maven: Will the booze keep flowing?
  • Livia the Clueless Writer: Do I secretly tell everyone that you never drink and that the booze is just our Mad Men joke?
  • The Marketing Maven: Why ruin the fun? Bring on the questions!

The Marketing Maven will be around answering your questions for a day or two – or more depending on how many questions there are. Post them in the comments and she’ll try to help us clueless writers unravel the mystery of marketing. 

Next week I will continue my exploration into what makes the next big thing in writing. Dr. Lulu will be around to talk about the psychology behind the 50 Shades of Gray phenomenon.