George Clooney Called – He’s looking for a date to the Oscars

Either George Clooney has phenomenally bad taste in women or the most refined sense of the absurd known to man. 
It’s a non sequitur. Everything about him would indicate his taste in women would lean to the witty, intelligent, urbane and educated. He’s an accomplished actor, writer and activist. This is not a shallow man.
Yet he seems to love his bimbos. If you’re a waitress, C-list actress, or in general a small town gal with big dreams of the big city, then chances are he might be interested. Some of my personal favorites:
  • Kelly Preston: If she weren’t married to John Travolta she’d be floundering on the D-list. I’m not even going to touch the whole Scientology cult wackiness.
  • Krista Allen: Baywatch & Emmanuelle in Space – Emmanuelle in Space? Really?
  • Celine Balitran: Waitress, French Reality TV Star
  • Sarah Larson: Waitress, Go Go Dancer, Reality TV Star and slut for hire. The Palms would send her out to be a party girl. Classsssssyyyyy!!!!
  • Lisa Snowdon: Reality TV Star, television presenter, model, pin-up blah blah blah
  • Stephanie Moeser: semi-professional game show contestant. Huh? I don’t even know what that is, but it doesn’t sound like biochemist.
There are others, many many many others (bless you George! God I love Italian men!) But those six are my favorites and for this posting serve my purpose. This is what seems to happen. He meets these women who are on the fringe of pseudo glamorous lives. They’ve had a taste of flash and have been around men that toss around enough cash to get them to show off their boobies. Then George Clooney king of the A-list walks in and sweeps them off of their feet.
I think he dates these women for several reasons. One, they are all universally beautiful. There is no arguing that point. Two, he knows that there is no way a relationship can be sustained with the vacuous and shallow. Three, he loves to screw with the paparazzi.
Imagine if you will a man that has wealth, fame and intelligence. He has no interest marrying again. Certainly does not want children. Enjoys jerking around the bunch of stalkers that prey on his private life. In order to add a dash of amusement and I’m absolutely certain fantastic sex (seriously think about it – these girls have got to know they have got to bring it every time) to his life he hooks up with these women whom are in his opinion disposable. He keeps them around for a couple of years then when they start to bore him he moves on quickly.
He is absolutely consistent in this. Two, maybe two and a half years later, he’s out. Quickly too. He drops them faster than an empty soda cup into the trash on the way out of a fast food restaurant. The quality of these women doesn’t seem to be an issue for him. That they use him to bolster their reality TV / modeling careers seems to be par for the course. A man of his intelligence and sophistication under normal circumstances wouldn’t be caught dead with a woman that actually thinks being on Celebrity Big Brother is a good career move. Just when it’s assumed he can’t sink any lower there is he is with another woman that just leaves us all scratching our heads wondering what the heck could he be thinking.
This is where the paparazzi angle comes in. He purposefully picks women that have, for lack of a better description, a past. Gris for the mill. A veritable smorgasbord of dirt can be dredged up on the honey of the hour. It’s as if he’s telling the paparazzi to come and get me baby because the last laugh is on you. He tosses these women in the path of the Star magazines of the world to give them a focus for their attention while he has a life off to the side he can enjoy quietly.
In his own words:
“Here is my theory on debunking photographs in magazines, you know, the paparazzi photographs,” Clooney said in Vanity Fair – “I want to spend every single night for three months going out with a different famous actress. You know, Halle Berry one night, Salma Hayek the next, and then walk on the beach holding hands with Leonardo DiCaprio. “People would still buy the magazines, they’d still buy the pictures, but they would always go, ‘I don’t know if these guys were putting us on or not.”’
When I was in school I spent YEARS studying motivation and I’ve become a pretty good judge of sousing out what makes people tick and why they do the things they do. Based on what I’ve read, I am absolutely certain George Clooney dates the women he does for the above mentioned reasons and, most interestingly, he’s using them as a means to thumb his nose at the world he lives in. What better way to say I don’t care about my image look what I’m dating then to make the choices he does.
So ladies, if George Clooney suddenly takes an interest in you ask yourself the following questions:
  • Have I ever removed my clothing for a living?
  • Does taking my clothes off for a living seem like a good idea?
  • Would appearing on a Reality TV show be good for my career?
  • Would appearing on Reality TV be something I would actually do?
  • Have I ever described my career ambitions using the words model, actress, TV personality, escort, entertainer or hostess?
  • Does dating a really rich guy sound super cool?
  • Would I bark like a dog for twenty dollar bills?
  • Is my ass my bread and butter?
  • Are there nude photos of me on the internet?
  • Is there a sex video of me on the internet?

If you have answered yes to one or more of these questions and George calls you looking for a date for the Oscars hang up, call your local community college and sign up for some computer classes because honey…. you don’t know the club you’re about to join.

One thought on “George Clooney Called – He’s looking for a date to the Oscars

  1. Interesting post! I hadn't noticed this but I think you're right. I have to say I think he's doing what I would do if I was George C. (That is, what I fantasize I would do when I fantasize I'm him.) But I have to hope that he divides his time between two types of women – those he dates (see above) – and those he has lunch with/talks to. The visibility of the former would protect the privacy of the latter. If he doesn't do that, my opinion of him would be lowered. Still high, but lower.

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